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How one media maverick is creating spaces where sex education, confidence, and community flourish
This week on The Sassy Show, we had the absolute pleasure of welcoming the incomparable Reed Amber – a multifaceted creative force who's spent over a decade transforming how we talk about sex. As a sex educator, sex worker, porn director, and advocate for women, LGBTQ+, and sex worker rights, Reed brings an authenticity to her work that's as refreshing as it is revolutionary.
Reed is perhaps best known as the co-creator of the multi-award-winning platform Come Curious with Florence Bark, where honest conversations about sex and bodies flow freely. Their YouTube channel serves up delicious helpings of advice, honesty, and explicit sassy wonder to viewers hungry for straightforward sex education.
"It's all about destigmatizing and trying to get rid of that shame that so many of us feel around sex and around our bodies, around our genitals because we were never taught... we were never taught that it's actually okay to want to do weird stuff in the bedroom or have weird fetishes and kinks."
Reed's journey into the world of sex education wasn't accidental. While studying television production at university, her fascination with sex and pornography shaped her career aspirations – even when it nearly got her kicked out of school. "I nearly got kicked out of uni after doing some work experience during my University time," she explained, because working with adult content wasn't considered "acceptable" work experience.
Undeterred, Reed found her way into the industry by emailing producers and eventually landing runner duties at an independent BDSM studio. "My first job at porn was in this tiny like independent very amateur BDSM studio with this couple... I literally was the person that wiped down the apparatus," she recalls with a laugh. From these humble beginnings, Reed mastered every role in production – from runner to script writer, camera operator, director, and video editor, eventually stepping in front of the camera as well.
This comprehensive understanding of production proved invaluable when she and Florence, whom she met on a porn set, created Come Curious. Their platform emerged from simple conversations about topics many find uncomfortable: "We're just sitting around talking about sex openly, talking about all the gross things you know, like why do we get discharge and I don't know how to suck a dick so how do I do it?" What sets Reed apart is her willingness to dive into subjects others shy away from. When she notices discomfort around a topic, that's precisely when she pushes herself to address it head-on:
"We found that any time we felt a little bit uncomfortable about talking about something, that was when we had to push ourselves to talk about it."
This approach has created space for others to examine their own relationship with taboo subjects. Reed doesn't just talk about sex – she builds communities where people can explore their authentic selves. A prime example is her Tickle Enthusiasm event, which grew from her personal journey of self-discovery. "I put myself online, I got myself into forums, I found people online in London that also had a tickle fetish," she explains. After meeting someone for her first tickle session, Reed knew she needed to create a larger community. "I just rented a dungeon and invited everybody I knew online to come and join my first tickle event." What started with 11 attendees has now grown into a thriving bi-annual event.
For Reed, creating these spaces is about helping people find where they belong. She understands the transformation that happens when you move "towards people that are more accepting even if it is wild and crazy... you find your people."
"I was miserable not having the sex that I wanted and not being able to talk about it openly with people... learning about it has changed everything."
Behind Reed's educational philosophy is a commitment to authenticity that's evident in everything she creates. She's open about her own journey from self-doubt to confidence – a transition that many experience as they enter their 30s. "I'm not sure I am seeing a huge change when we get past our 20s... as soon as I got to my 30s I felt like there was this switch... where suddenly that life pressure just alleviates a little bit," she observes. This evolution includes a deeper understanding of what truly matters in relationships and personal fulfillment.
"We now appreciate authenticity, that is what we're finding attractive," Reed explains. "We're learning that actually finding somebody that has good looks on a dating app actually isn't really what we want because they're not necessarily meeting our needs and our values." Perhaps one of the most profound transformations in Reed's recent journey has been embracing sobriety after 13 years of drug use – a change she describes as completely reshaping her outlook and creativity.
"Going sober, going drug free has completely shaped me... it was the hardest thing that I've ever done and it has had the most positive experience and outlook. I feel like a completely different person than this time last year."
The benefits extended to areas she hadn't anticipated: "I still love having sex sober or like sober sex – who knew sober sex was going to be better? Sober masturbating was better! Really! Sober raving! Oh my god, who knew?" With newfound clarity, Reed is channeling her energy into creating more content, events, and educational resources. Her ADHD, once perceived as a hindrance, has become what she calls her "superpower" – driving creativity and passion for her projects.
Reed's journey from behind-the-scenes crew member to influential educator and community builder offers valuable insights for anyone navigating their own relationship with sexuality and authenticity. To hear more of her wisdom, watch our full conversation on The Sassy Show YouTube channel or listen to the podcast on your favorite streaming platform. Join us as we continue bringing taboos out of the shadows and into the light of open, honest conversation.
Keep up to date with Reed over on IG @reedamberx
You can catch Reed's link to her Only Fans and more via X @ReedAmberX
And be sure to check out ComeCurious
Interview and portraits by Bethany Burgoyne @bxsassy2
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