Nesting Partners Encouraging Confrontation

Sassy
Jul 10
3 min read

Nesting in the Lucid Light of Love

In the newest episode of The Sassy Show, BxSassy (aka Bethany) returns for Series 10 with a gorgeous, grounding conversation featuring Lola and January—two radiant forces in the ENM and kink communities, and, as it turns out, deeply devoted nesting partners.

From confronting mainstream relationship myths to the beauty of sober kink spaces, this chat is equal parts cheeky and wise. We get the lowdown on Lola’s event Lucid—a sober, inclusive play party—and an exclusive on their biggest event yet, happening 29th November. Tune in and read on for raw truths, playful confessions, and a whole lot of sassy inspiration.

From ENM to Deep Connection: A Practice, Not a Performance

When Lola and January first met, it wasn’t necessarily love at first sight—it was more like respectful curiosity. “We were dating the same person,” Lola laughs. “We were metamours first.” That mutual connection laid the groundwork for what would evolve into a heartfelt, cohabiting, deeply communicative partnership. “We texted every day for three years before even officially calling it anything,” January recalls. Today, they live together as nesting partners—entwined in daily life, committed without coercion, practicing love as a conscious, chosen act.

Their story highlights the expansive beauty of ethical non-monogamy—not just as a relationship style, but a framework for intentional, liberating love. “You should be in a relationship because you want to, not because you have to,” Lola says, firmly. Both Lola and January reflect on how ENM allowed them to shed scarcity mindsets and embrace multiple sources of joy, intimacy, and support.

"We do relationship check-ins, we don’t let things fester and we’re both really direct. If something needs saying, we say it." January and Lola

But they’re not romanticizing the path. “Three breakups in one year taught me a lot,” January shares. “It made me question polyamory. But then I realised—it’s not about the structure, it’s about the people. With Lola, I already had what I needed.” What keeps them anchored is an insistence on communication and confrontation—not drama. “We do relationship check-ins. We don’t let things fester,” Lola explains. “We’re both really direct. If something needs saying, we say it.” January adds, “I think I'm good with confrontation—but not the aggressive kind. The loving, honest kind.”

Lucid: A Sober Revolution in Kink

One of the standout moments in the episode is Lola’s recounting of founding Lucid—a sober social and play party designed for the queer, neurodivergent and non-monogamous kink community. “I’d go to parties planning to have one drink… then suddenly I’m making decisions I wouldn’t make sober,” they explain. “So I created the kind of space I needed—a sober, safe, joyful, kink-friendly space.”

And it’s grown. From intimate events to full-scale celebrations, Lucid is now entering its boldest chapter yet. “I’m hosting the biggest Lucid to date on 29th November—a day party with DJs, cabaret, a vetted playroom, all in a venue with no bar.” Lola beams with excitement and a little bit of nerves. “It’s scary—but it’s needed.” Sober play is about more than just abstaining from substances—it’s about presence, clarity, consent. “People get into play quicker, communicate better, and explore deeper,” Lola says. “Plus, it’s safer—especially when you’re into harder kinks.”

January: From PR Chaos to Clarity

While Lola crafts community on the dancefloor and the dungeon, January has been reshaping their professional world. A seasoned publicist, they started in the music industry at 17 but quickly realised it was an unsafe and unsustainable environment. “People were doing coke in meetings at noon,” they recall. “It was toxic. And when I said I was sober, people acted like I was a buzzkill.”

Today, January works in a more values-aligned corner of the creative industries—one with boundaries, empathy, and space to breathe. “I love communications,” they reflect. “But I needed to find the right environment. Somewhere respectful.”

Healthy Love, Sassy Wisdom

This episode reminds us that healthy relationships can—and do—exist. You just have to co-create them. Lola and January show us a model rooted in choice, clarity, and kindness. They are breaking the myth that love must come with chaos or compromise. “When you’re polyamorous, you learn quickly what you want and what you don’t,” says Lola. “It’s not about finding someone to complete you—it’s about people who add to your already full life.”

Whether you’re ENM-curious, navigating kink, or simply trying to build more meaningful connections, this episode will leave you nourished and inspired. From foot pic sales to blood play safety, nothing is off the table—but everything is approached with tenderness.

So if you’re ready to explore your own sassy side, embrace confrontation with compassion, and find the joy in sober spaces—this episode is for you.

Listen now on The Sassy Show

Save the Date: Lucid’s next big event – 29 November

Follow @miss_masochist_ and @lucid_sober_events for updates