Honeycule: A Warm Home for ENM from a POC perspective

Where Culture, Identity, and Ethical Non Monogamy are Celebrated Rather than Sidelined

In the vibrant landscape of ethical non-monogamy, a beautiful transformation is underway. Enter Honeycule – not merely an event series, but a revolutionary space of belonging created by Amber and co-organizer Nathan, where the intersections of culture, ethnic identity, and ENM are celebrated rather than sidelined. Honeycule stands as a radiant beacon of possibility, providing a flourishing community with something precious: a space where the rich tapestry of Black, Brown and other members of the Global Majority practising ethical non-monogamy takes centre stage, where curiosity flows freely, and where the fullness of each person's journey is honoured.

Founded in April 2024, Honeycule emerged from Amber's profound recognition of absence – the absence of representation, of understanding, of safe harbor. "From my own personal experience, there was not a lot of representation of people of colour in the ENM space," Amber shares, her words carrying the weight of countless moments when she found "I was mostly the only black woman in any space I entered, and when making connections I felt othered, couldn't relate and felt fetishized for just existing." This experience isn't isolated – it's a reflection of how even in spaces meant to challenge relationship norms, cultural nuances and racist dynamics often remain unaddressed. Nathan, who joined Amber as co-founder, echoes this reality: "I had been to a few mainstream events in the scene as well as some POC spaces & it became abundantly clear that a space like Honeycule was desperately needed." 

A Tapestry of Safety, Cultural Understanding, and Liberation

Honeycule's beauty lies in its recognition and respect for the journey a person of colour goes on when exploring ENM; how it carries unique considerations such as family expectations, cultural contexts, and the vulnerability that comes with existing at multiple intersections of identity. As a form of reeducation, Amber explains how "A big myth in the POC community is that ENM is just for white people," but they point out how history tells a different story. "ENM concepts such as Walking marriages & polyamory have been documented to be around for centuries within POC and indigenous communities." This historical erasure and lack of representation can compound leaving many to feel isolated when entering mainstream spaces.

"ENM concepts such as Walking marriages & polyamory have been documented to be around for centuries within POC and indigenous communities." Amber

This knowledge informs Honeycule’s approach to creating sanctuary. "Discretion is one of the biggest cultural nuances we adhere to," they emphasize. "As being a POC there is unspoken respect within our communities. Whilst we aren't ashamed of our identities, it is important that we make decisions that put safety at the forefront of everything." This isn't theoretical – it's practical. Face blurring and tattoo blurring become acts of care, understanding that "being outed is a massive fear in the POC kink scene and often is a reason why there is hesitancy of joining communities." When organizers understand these lived realities, trust flourishes which is abundantly reflected in the community of over 200 members they’ve gathered in their first year alone.

Creating Home: Themed Gatherings For Playful Connection

Walking into a Honeycule event means entering a space where imagination meets intention. Each gathering – from their upcoming "Viva La Rouge" Moulin Rouge-themed play party to "The Bumblebee Soiree" with its Bridgerton/Regency era inspiration – offers more than aesthetic pleasure. These are carefully crafted environments where people find their "home away from home," as Amber and Nathan beautifully describe it.

"We strive to foster an environment that feels like a 'home away from home' where individuals can connect, learn, express themselves freely and find solidarity with others who have lived similar experiences." Amber

Perhaps nothing illustrates this more powerfully than their previously curated "community wall of wisdom" – an interactive experience breaking the silence through sharing. As Nathan describes it: "We split attendees into groups and got them to discuss and write down their tip/experiences around various ENM related topic areas such as 'What's your best tip for managing jealousy & how has your racial or cultural identity shaped your approach to ENM?'"

"It's been very affirming and heartwarming seeing individuals share their experiences in navigating ENM as a person of colour" Nathan

In these moments of shared vulnerability, transformation happens. "This was special for us as it was very affirming and heartwarming seeing individuals share their experiences in navigating ENM as a person of colour," Nathan reflects. "We loved how comfortable everyone felt in sharing quite vulnerable parts of themselves to help others navigate similar issues."

One attendee captured the profound impact: "Being able to be present in a space that has provided me a lot of education while on my ENM journey has helped me grow both personally and professionally. As a team, Honeycule has done an excellent job of curating a space where Black, Brown and other members of the Global Majority have felt free to explore, learn and grow into their kinky and/or deviant selves."

The Future: Expanding Connection Across Communities

As Honeycule continues to flourish, Amber and Nathan are already envisioning broader horizons. Their upcoming project "Veneration" (separate to Honeycule) represents an invitation to build bridges between communities – a neurodivergent-led and POC-led organization welcoming people across genders, sexualities, and races. This expansion speaks to their commitment to sex-positive spaces that acknowledge the fullness of human experience and desire. It's about creating more entry points to belonging, more opportunities for connection across differences.

For Amber, this work has become "my literal baby that I cradle close to my heart," while transforming her own life. "Finding a community that I had so desperately longed for where I can authentically be myself and live my life freely without judgement" has been revolutionary. Nathan similarly shares how this journey has shaped him: "As I'm on my own ENM journey, running Honeycule has been life-changing as I've learnt so much about the various ENM dynamics and where I personally fit within those dynamics."

"Finding a community that I had so desperately longed for where I can authentically be myself and live my life freely without judgement - that's changed my life." Amber

In a world where navigating alternative relationship styles can feel risky, heavy and lonesome - a sad reality that permeates so many social spaces – Honeycule stands as proof that another way is possible. “One of the best things about running Honeycule is meeting all the amazing people from various walks of life that each bring something special to Honeycule in their own unique way." And here, in this intentional community, people find not just events but transformation and an invitation to belong. An invitation to be seen. An invitation to discover that you are not alone. 

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Get to know Honeycule via ig @honeycule

Be sure to keep your eyes out for events via their linktree here

And learn more about Amber and Nathan's new venture Veneration on ig @venerationldn